What happened before surgery

 Probably ten years ago, I noticed blood in my stool. I went to the doctor and he determined the blood was from hemorrhoids I developed internally. That was a long time ago and I just always thought that that is what hemorrhoids did, made you have blood in your stool. Years went by and I just accepted that. This past winter, I was having a lot of stomach pain, runny stools, and much more blood. I finally listened to my gut and decided that something was not right and it was much more than just hemorrhoids. I talked to my co-worker, who also deals with stomach issues, and she gave me the name of a great Gastro-interologist in Columbia. I called that day and made an appointment the following week. I went to Dr. Narayen on May 3 and he scheduled me to have a colonoscopy on May 18. I told Jason that I would be having a colonoscopy and he thought that was weird, so did I but, I just went with it. Usually, people do not have colonoscopy procedures until they are in their 50s. I am 31. Something was up and the doctor wanted to see what was going on inside my system.
I did the prep for the procedure and that was hell. I took the 2 laxative pills mid day during my liquid diet preparation. I felt so tired and weak from not eating. I got home and began drinking the Miralax/Gatorade mix at around 5pm. I had to drink 8 oz. every hour for 4 hours. I was able to drink 16 oz. and then that is when I began to get sick. I was vomiting from 7-9pm. After talking to the on-call doctor, I stopped drinking and went to bed. I got up at 5am to finish the mix. It sucked! But, I did not get sick that morning.
We left to go to the doctor for the procedure at around 11am. I was brought in to get ready...IV, etc. I was nervous but just wanted to get it over with. They gave me the good stuff and I was fast asleep. I woke up about an hour or so later and that is when it got confusing. They told me that it took longer than expected and asked if my husband was with me. I said yes and they went to get him from the waiting room. Jason came back and the nurse passed by and said that she was glad I was here. I was very confused and wondering what was going on. I remember saying to Jason, "Something is wrong with me, right?" Finally, the doctor came by and said that it took a long time because they found something. They found a 40mm polyp on the lining of my sigmoid colon. 40mm is the size of a golf ball...if you are wondering.  The doctor said they removed it and will send the polyp for a biopsy. I was shocked and began to get upset. He said that they would let me know when the biopsy results return. We went home and felt a lot different than when we arrived that day...
We waited and it felt like forever! The procedure was on a Wednesday and the office said I would probably know the results by Monday.
I called Monday- nothing.
I was frantically checking my phone. I was obsessed with the thought of what could be. I could not relax until I knew what the results were. Deep down, I felt the worst was coming. Weird, I know. I left my cell phone at home Tuesday and called Jason to bring it to me at work. The moment he walked into the building and handed me the phone, it rang. My heart pounded...it was the doctor's office. The nurse said that the results were in and the doctor would like me to come in. I said okay and I would be there at noon. I hung up, looked at Jason, and burst into tears. I knew what that meant. He knew what that meant. It was bad and something was wrong. I can feel that moment like it was yesterday. That was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. There was a pit in my stomach. I went back to my classroom and the students were watching a video in another room. I talked to my co-worker and she said that I should go home. I did. I went home at around 10:30 and cried on the couch for a long time.
We drove to the doctor's office and I just felt numb. Once the doctor arrived, he took us into an examination room and began to talk. I felt like I could not hear him, understand him, or even concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth. I do know that he said cancer and I would need surgery to remove the rest of the cells that remained in my colon, after the polyp had been removed. I didn't cry. He was saying what I knew he would say. He was confirming what I had already assumed. After the doctor talked to us, we sat with the nurse to set up appointments for PET scans, blood tests, etc. We left and went downstairs to the Lab. I had my blood taken and went home. I cried some more. We both did. I was 31 years old, a mom of a beautiful one year old boy, a wife of almost 4 years and I now had cancer. What happened to my life?